DONATE LIFE ORGAN DONATION AWARENESS - LA CRUCES, NEW MEXICO

NM couple find hope in donating son's organs


LAS CRUCES, N.M. - Up from the pages of a carefully constructed scrapbook stare the big brown eyes of a handsome little boy. Encircled in his father's arms, basking in his mother's loving gaze, he smiles into the camera that has, in just two years, taken hundreds of photos of him — asleep, at play, or sweetly holding the tiny hand of the little girl who was already his best friend.

There should have been more scrapbooks like this one, to document his first day of school, his first car, his senior prom. But this will be the only one.

All that can be found of 2-year-old Jayden Zayne Lopez, aside from fond memories, are his toys, still strewn about, and stacks and stacks of photos.

It's not all that's left of him in this world, though. At the very lowest point in their lives, Jayden's young parents reached through their shock and exhaustion and crushing grief to make a choice that would give three strangers the second chance at life that their little boy wasn't to have.

Jayden's parents, Cesleigh Salas and Sunny Lopez, were high school sweethearts. Cesleigh's mother, Kerry Caldwell, said she had concerns at first, when at 17, Cesleigh became pregnant. She soon decided that the best way to make sure that her daughter and Sunny wouldn't struggle to succeed and raise their child, the way so many teen parents do, was to offer as much love and support as they needed.

Cesleigh, Sunny and their newborn son lived with Kerry and her husband, Jon. After finishing high school, Cesleigh became a licensed instructor at Business Skills Institute, where Kerry is the director, and Sunny enrolled in college classes. Together, the family raised little Jayden.

"He was loved," Kerry said as she turned the pages of the scrapbook, smiling through tears. "He was the sunshine of our lives.

At just 6 months old, he could already communicate with his parents, who doted on him, Kerry said, seldom leaving him in anyone else's care. He loved cartoons like "Finding Nemo" and "Monsters Inc.," but one of his favorite activities was swimming in his grandparents' pool, where he splashed and played all the time.

On a Sunday afternoon in July, when his mother stepped inside the house for just a moment, Jayden fell into that pool. It's impossible to know how long he might have been in the water — maybe less than a minute, one doctor estimated. But it was enough.

"We learned that it takes just six ounces of water to fill a baby's lungs. They can take that in with one gasp," Kerry explained. "It happens very quickly."

Responders worked fiercely to revive the lifeless toddler as they transported him to Memorial Medical Center. There, doctors were able to restart his heart and stabilize him enough to transport him by medical helicopter to University Medical Center in El Paso.

Kerry recalled the agonizing drive to El Paso, trying to catch a glimpse of the helicopter through the car's window. Then there was nothing to do but wait while doctors struggled to save her grandson.

"The waiting," she said, her voice trailing off. "It was like crawling through glass."

Finally, doctors came to Cesleigh and Sunny with the worst possible news. Though he was breathing, and his heart was beating with the help of a machine, Jayden's brain had been without oxygen for too long. In his hospital bed, he appeared to be peacefully sleeping, but doctors told them their precious boy would not ever wake up.

The doctors had a question for the heartbroken couple, who had aged long past their 20 years in recent days at the hospital. Jayden was a candidate for organ donation — would they consider allowing their son's usable organs to be donated?

It's not an easy choice for any family to make, and many people find they have too many questions to make a decision. That's where Paula Duran comes in. She's a family services coordinator with Southwest Transplant Alliance. Duran answers the family's questions and, if they decide to donate their loved one's organs, she guides them through the process.

"There are more than 100,000 people in the U.S. waiting for a transplant right now," she told them. "Twenty people die every day waiting for an organ."

And just 2 percent of people die in such a way that their major organs can be used. Only those who, like Jayden, suffer brain death, but continue to have a heartbeat, are candidates.

There was a very short window of time — a matter of hours — for Cesleigh and Sunny to make their decision. Jayden's heart and lungs were too damaged by the many attempts to revive him, but his liver and kidneys were healthy enough, for the time being. Before long, they would also begin to deteriorate.

The couple had to act fast, but one thing made them hesitant. Duran said it is by far the most common concern that she hears.

"Whenever families are hesitant, it's because their loved one's body will be cut," she said. "Our surgeons are very respectful."

There's almost never any visible sign of the surgery, she said.

"No one would know."

The couple agreed. Cesleigh said they knew it was the right choice — God's will.

They spent their last hours with Jayden, oblivious to their exhaustion after days without sleep, and then said their goodbyes. Kerry stayed behind at the hospital, wanting to remain close as long as possible.

"It was strange, because usually, when someone goes into surgery, you're waiting for them to come out, to find out if they're OK," she said. Not this time.

Jayden's kidneys went to two different people — a 46-year-old man and a 53-year-old woman. Kerry said she was surprised to learn that adults could benefit from a donor so young.

"We thought little organs went to little people," she said.

Duran explained that even those tiny kidneys could save an adult's life.

"What happens is, the body will — amazingly — take to those kidneys," she said. "They'll eventually grow to adult size."

His liver went to a boy even younger than Jayden — only 19 months old. Kerry thought that was especially poignant.

"He deserved a chance," she said of the boy, whose age is all the family knows of him so far. "We weren't bringing our baby home, but he deserved a chance to go home."

Kerry said Cesleigh and Sunny hope one day to meet one or all of the recipients of Jayden's gift. It will depend on how those recipients feel about it, but Duran estimated that more than half choose to meet or exchange letters or phone calls with the families of their donors.

"Making the decision for our Jayden to be an organ donor was also what I believe to be God's will, giving us the strength and courage to endure our loss but to eventually walk with pride in knowing that our 2-year-old son could save the lives of not just one baby, but two adults," Cesleigh said. "We hope that the recipients live their lives to the best they can, because it was my angel who helped give them the chance."