Heart-to-heart: Family shares memories of son with transplant recipient
PHOTO BY JIM WEBER // BUY THIS PHOTO
Patty McDaniel, with assistance from her husband, Shelby, listens for a heart beat from Stephen Eddings on Thursday. Eddings received a heart from the couple's son in 2008.
Whenever a car slowed in front of her Collierville house Thursday morning, Patty McDaniel's head popped up.
Is that them? Should she stay on the porch or go out to the driveway?
Patty, dressed in a sky blue shirt, wearing silver earrings and with her hair and makeup perfect, smiled one minute and cried the next, a tissue clutched in her hand.
Tears of pain for her 22-year-old son, Paul, who died two years ago after a stroke, mixed with stinging fresh grief for her 30-year-old son, Ben, who disappeared in a scuba diving accident two months ago.
She also shed tears of joy for the visitor pulling up in the driveway.
After Paul was declared brain dead on Sept. 14, 2008, Patty and her husband, Shelby, donated four of his organs and skin tissue.
The McDaniels wrote letters to recipients. The Mid-South Transplant Foundation acted as intermediary to protect privacy. In such cases, if both sides want to meet, personal information is shared with the families.
Texas native Stephen Eddings didn't open his letter for two days. The 57-year-old who suffered from cardiomyopathy before the transplant was nervous. He went out alone one day and read about the death of Paul, a 22-year-old who loved mountain climbing and was full of zest and energy.
The families began corresponding.
The Eddingses agreed to come to the fall festival that the McDaniels hold to raise money for Paul's foundation, which was established by their older son, Ben, and younger son, Tim.
Patty was thrilled to meet the recipient of Paul's heart.
Before the Eddingses could come, the McDaniels e-mailed them with the news that Ben was missing in a scuba accident. Divers searched for weeks, but by mid-August, they gave up.
The Eddingses asked if they should postpone the trip, let the family deal with this new grief. Absolutely not, the McDaniels told them.
At about 9:30 Thursday morning, the Eddingses pulled into the McDaniels' driveway.
Eddings, tall and whiskered, climbed out of his SUV and walked headlong into Patty's arms.
"Bless you for coming," she told him. She let go and hugged his wife.
The Eddingses brought the McDaniels a gift -- a portrait of Paul based on a picture of him sitting on a mountain rock, in full gear, smiling.
Memories of the three boys growing up spilled over in stories and pictures. Eddings told them that when he read Patty's letter about Paul, it upset him.
"I wanted to meet them, but I didn't think I deserved this young man's heart," Eddings said Thursday as he began to cry.
Patty walked over, grabbed his hand and told him: "Don't ever feel guilty about it. This is the Lord's will. Paul's in heaven with Ben. They are all right."
Eddings knew Patty wanted to feel Paul's heart beating. She had mentioned it in an e-mail. He told her to go ahead.
She moved her hand on his chest and waited for a movement. She didn't feel anything. She tried his wrist for a pulse. Nope.
"I have a stethoscope," she said as she bounded up the stairs to retrieve it.
Shelby, who has better hearing, listened first. He began to smile. He hugged Eddings and kissed him on top of the head.
He kept the spot on the chest and gave the earplugs to Patty. She cried when she heard her son's heart beating.
Before the transplant, Eddings said it was difficult to fall asleep at night. Now, when he presses his head on his pillow, he hears Paul's heart beating and he falls right to sleep.
Benefit
The Paul A. McDaniel Foundation for organ donation and stroke awareness is holding a benefit from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday at Maple Grove Farm, 4961 Windsong in Collierville.
Cost: $7 per person; includes T-shirt
Activities: Petting farm, hay ride, moon bounce, zip-line rock wall and more
On the Web: maplegrovefarm.net, paulmcdanielfoundation.org, tndonorregistry.org
Is that them? Should she stay on the porch or go out to the driveway?
PHOTO BY JIM WEBER
BUY THIS PHOTO »
BUY THIS PHOTO »
Stethoscope in hand, Shelby McDaniel gives Stephen Eddings a hug after listening to Eddings' new heart Thursday morning at McDaniel's farm. Eddings received a heart transplant in 2008 after the untimely death of McDaniel's son, Paul.
Ben McDaniel
Patty, dressed in a sky blue shirt, wearing silver earrings and with her hair and makeup perfect, smiled one minute and cried the next, a tissue clutched in her hand.
Tears of pain for her 22-year-old son, Paul, who died two years ago after a stroke, mixed with stinging fresh grief for her 30-year-old son, Ben, who disappeared in a scuba diving accident two months ago.
She also shed tears of joy for the visitor pulling up in the driveway.
After Paul was declared brain dead on Sept. 14, 2008, Patty and her husband, Shelby, donated four of his organs and skin tissue.
The McDaniels wrote letters to recipients. The Mid-South Transplant Foundation acted as intermediary to protect privacy. In such cases, if both sides want to meet, personal information is shared with the families.
Texas native Stephen Eddings didn't open his letter for two days. The 57-year-old who suffered from cardiomyopathy before the transplant was nervous. He went out alone one day and read about the death of Paul, a 22-year-old who loved mountain climbing and was full of zest and energy.
The families began corresponding.
The Eddingses agreed to come to the fall festival that the McDaniels hold to raise money for Paul's foundation, which was established by their older son, Ben, and younger son, Tim.
Patty was thrilled to meet the recipient of Paul's heart.
Before the Eddingses could come, the McDaniels e-mailed them with the news that Ben was missing in a scuba accident. Divers searched for weeks, but by mid-August, they gave up.
The Eddingses asked if they should postpone the trip, let the family deal with this new grief. Absolutely not, the McDaniels told them.
At about 9:30 Thursday morning, the Eddingses pulled into the McDaniels' driveway.
Eddings, tall and whiskered, climbed out of his SUV and walked headlong into Patty's arms.
"Bless you for coming," she told him. She let go and hugged his wife.
The Eddingses brought the McDaniels a gift -- a portrait of Paul based on a picture of him sitting on a mountain rock, in full gear, smiling.
Memories of the three boys growing up spilled over in stories and pictures. Eddings told them that when he read Patty's letter about Paul, it upset him.
"I wanted to meet them, but I didn't think I deserved this young man's heart," Eddings said Thursday as he began to cry.
Patty walked over, grabbed his hand and told him: "Don't ever feel guilty about it. This is the Lord's will. Paul's in heaven with Ben. They are all right."
Eddings knew Patty wanted to feel Paul's heart beating. She had mentioned it in an e-mail. He told her to go ahead.
She moved her hand on his chest and waited for a movement. She didn't feel anything. She tried his wrist for a pulse. Nope.
"I have a stethoscope," she said as she bounded up the stairs to retrieve it.
Shelby, who has better hearing, listened first. He began to smile. He hugged Eddings and kissed him on top of the head.
He kept the spot on the chest and gave the earplugs to Patty. She cried when she heard her son's heart beating.
Before the transplant, Eddings said it was difficult to fall asleep at night. Now, when he presses his head on his pillow, he hears Paul's heart beating and he falls right to sleep.
Benefit
The Paul A. McDaniel Foundation for organ donation and stroke awareness is holding a benefit from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday at Maple Grove Farm, 4961 Windsong in Collierville.
Cost: $7 per person; includes T-shirt
Activities: Petting farm, hay ride, moon bounce, zip-line rock wall and more
On the Web: maplegrovefarm.net, paulmcdanielfoundation.org, tndonorregistry.org
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