She needs a kidney, so her ex-son-in-law will give his
BY HEATHER MAY | THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

West Valley • For Kevin Blow, the hardest part about donating one of his kidneys has been persuading his ex-mother-in-law to accept it.

Joanne Graybill said she resisted his offer for months, fearful of the toll a transplant would take on her daughter’s ex-husband.

But as her kidney function worsened, leading her down the path of being tied to a dialysis machine, and two donations from cadavers fell through, Graybill relented.

“He was going to do it without me,” said Graybill, 62, with a laugh Thursday from her home.

On Friday, Blow is scheduled to give Graybill his left kidney at University of Utah Hospital. They shared their story in hope that others will donate.

Yes, they are exes, but that doesn’t mean they stopped being family. Blow has remained friends with his ex-wife, who supports his decision to donate. Blow calls his former mother-in-law “Mom,” and she considers him a son.

“I don’t know what I’d do without her,” Blow said, explaining why he was so persistent.

Graybill learned she had a deteriorating kidney disease five years ago, brought on, she says, by high blood pressure medication she took more than a decade ago. She was able to stave off end-stage kidney failure by losing weight and reducing her potassium levels. But last December, she was put on the national organ waiting list.

She knew it was time: She had lost energy, food tasted like metal and her skin was yellowish.

Blow knew, too. He had moved back to Utah from Colorado a year earlier and could see she was weaker. He decided he wasn’t going to let her die.

After his return, the two bonded over lunches, during which they would talk about their goals. She helped him reconnect with the Graybill family.

“We take the time for each other. We help each other,” he said.

The 37-year-old started to prepare for the transplant even before Graybill consented to see whether he was a match. He worked an extra hour a day at the U.S. Army’s Dugway Proving Ground to save up time off, and he quit chewing tobacco and started running more to get healthier.

He used that — and more — in his campaign: He told Graybill she needed his kidney so she would be around for her six grandchildren, including his 11-year-old daughter. Finally, he told her the transplant was an opportunity for him, not just her.

“It’s something I get to do,” he said, for the “satisfaction of making sure she’s still here.”

Blow was her only living donor candidate. Graybill’s three daughters didn’t get tested because one is pregnant, another just had a baby and another wants to get pregnant soon.

They were together in October when they learned he was a good match. He held her as she cried.

“I thanked him for giving [me] my life back,” she said.

Graybill said her co-workers at the U.’s Westridge Health Center in West Valley City donated 350 hours of vacation time so she can receive a paycheck while she takes up to three months to recover.

Blow, whose surgery is paid for by Graybill’s insurance, hopes to be back to work sooner, even though the surgery is expected to take a greater toll on his short-term health. He will recuperate at the home of one of his ex-sisters-in-law.