Organ donation salvaged life from tragic loss
By Carolyn Calvin | Navajo Times
Twelve years ago, Bernadette Totsohni held her 4-month-old boy, Joseph Quiambao, in her arms for the last time at the University of New Mexico hospital in Albuquerque.
She knew her son, the victim of a tragic accident, wasn't going to make it.
"It was a test of my faith," Totsohni said. "My faith is really a huge part of who I am."
Earlier that night, a religious pilgrim had visited the room and blessed the baby with holy water and oil he had brought back from the shrine of Lourdes, in southern France, where Catholics believe the virgin Mary appeared in 1858.
"He pulled me off to the side, saying your son will be part of a miracle," Totsohni said. "Only you will know what happened.
"We were sitting there saying our goodbyes to my son," Totsohni said. "My family walked out of the room and I saw a shadow. I tried to turn to see the individual, who was in full nun's habit. I couldn't see her face."
The individual placed her hand on Totsohni's shoulder and said, "As my son has suffered for the sins of the world, so has yours."
Totsohni's father walked back into the room just then and she asked him to stop the nun who had just left.
"He said there was no nun in the room, whatsoever," she said, but the room was suddenly suffused with the scent of roses - as is often reported by people who say they have been visited by the virgin.
While she tried to make sense of what happened, Totsohni noticed a woman from New Mexico organ donor services waiting to see her about donating her son's organs.
"I said, 'Bring in the paperwork and let me fill it out,' " Totsohni said.
That night baby Joseph's heart went to a girl in Denver. His liver went to a girl in San Francisco. And knowing that a part of him lives on, Totsohni said, has kept her son alive in a very real way, as well as forever living in her heart.
"That was the miracle they were talking about," Totsohni said.
Since then, Totsohni, who is Taos Pueblo, born for Tó' Áhání (Near to Water Clan), has done a lot of volunteering to encourage people - especially Native Americans - to become organ donors.
Native Americans have the lowest donation rates in New Mexico, she explained, although they comprise 24 percent of those on the kidney transplant waiting list.
On New Year's Day, baby Joseph will be one of 60 organ and tissue donors whose "floragraph" - a portrait made of flowers - decorates the Donate Life float in the 2011 Rose Parade.
The float theme is "Seize the Day!" - a tribute to those who gave the gift of life, and the hope they bring to those in need of transplants.
Joseph's floragraph has already been made, and his family helped decorate it. (In keeping with Rose Parade rules, it is made entirely of natural materials.)
They placed seeds, spices and other organic materials on it. Coffee grounds were used to depict his hair and eyebrows.
"The picture shows my son about two weeks before he died. They captured that piece of memory for me," Totsohni said. "It's an absolutely amazing picture."
Totsohni and her older son, Reggie Quiambao, who was 5 when his brother died, will travel to Pasadena, Calif., to help put the finishing touches on the Donate Life float and to watch the Rose Parade on New Year's Day.
They will have a place of honor where they can see everything up close, she said. Their float will be one of the first five in the parade.
"For the state of New Mexico, I am the first Native American and only individual with a child under the age of 5 who donated organs," Totsohni said. "This is an adorable blessing for me."
She hopes that one day she has a chance to hear her son's heart beat again. But until then, Totsohni takes comfort in knowing that it lives on.
"He gave the greatest gift of all - life," she said.
She knew her son, the victim of a tragic accident, wasn't going to make it.
"It was a test of my faith," Totsohni said. "My faith is really a huge part of who I am."
Earlier that night, a religious pilgrim had visited the room and blessed the baby with holy water and oil he had brought back from the shrine of Lourdes, in southern France, where Catholics believe the virgin Mary appeared in 1858.
"He pulled me off to the side, saying your son will be part of a miracle," Totsohni said. "Only you will know what happened.
"We were sitting there saying our goodbyes to my son," Totsohni said. "My family walked out of the room and I saw a shadow. I tried to turn to see the individual, who was in full nun's habit. I couldn't see her face."
The individual placed her hand on Totsohni's shoulder and said, "As my son has suffered for the sins of the world, so has yours."
Totsohni's father walked back into the room just then and she asked him to stop the nun who had just left.
"He said there was no nun in the room, whatsoever," she said, but the room was suddenly suffused with the scent of roses - as is often reported by people who say they have been visited by the virgin.
While she tried to make sense of what happened, Totsohni noticed a woman from New Mexico organ donor services waiting to see her about donating her son's organs.
"I said, 'Bring in the paperwork and let me fill it out,' " Totsohni said.
That night baby Joseph's heart went to a girl in Denver. His liver went to a girl in San Francisco. And knowing that a part of him lives on, Totsohni said, has kept her son alive in a very real way, as well as forever living in her heart.
"That was the miracle they were talking about," Totsohni said.
Since then, Totsohni, who is Taos Pueblo, born for Tó' Áhání (Near to Water Clan), has done a lot of volunteering to encourage people - especially Native Americans - to become organ donors.
Native Americans have the lowest donation rates in New Mexico, she explained, although they comprise 24 percent of those on the kidney transplant waiting list.
On New Year's Day, baby Joseph will be one of 60 organ and tissue donors whose "floragraph" - a portrait made of flowers - decorates the Donate Life float in the 2011 Rose Parade.
The float theme is "Seize the Day!" - a tribute to those who gave the gift of life, and the hope they bring to those in need of transplants.
Joseph's floragraph has already been made, and his family helped decorate it. (In keeping with Rose Parade rules, it is made entirely of natural materials.)
They placed seeds, spices and other organic materials on it. Coffee grounds were used to depict his hair and eyebrows.
"The picture shows my son about two weeks before he died. They captured that piece of memory for me," Totsohni said. "It's an absolutely amazing picture."
Totsohni and her older son, Reggie Quiambao, who was 5 when his brother died, will travel to Pasadena, Calif., to help put the finishing touches on the Donate Life float and to watch the Rose Parade on New Year's Day.
They will have a place of honor where they can see everything up close, she said. Their float will be one of the first five in the parade.
"For the state of New Mexico, I am the first Native American and only individual with a child under the age of 5 who donated organs," Totsohni said. "This is an adorable blessing for me."
She hopes that one day she has a chance to hear her son's heart beat again. But until then, Totsohni takes comfort in knowing that it lives on.
"He gave the greatest gift of all - life," she said.
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