Rose Parade float unites families of young heart
donor, recipient
Kyle Martin had a stroke a week before his fifth birthday in January 2008. A few days later, the Mission Viejo boy was diagnosed with restrictive cardiomyopathy, a group of disorders where the chambers of the heart cannot fill with blood because of the stiffness of the heart.
He spent his birthday in the hospital and at 5 1/2 was put on the donor list for a new heart. By the end of the summer, Kyle got that new heart after a little girl his age died two counties away.
“There’s a lot of emotion when your child is listed for an organ. You want your child to survive, obviously, but you also know the reality that another family is going to go through a horrible devastation because we know where the heart has to come from,” said Lina Martin, 38, Kyle’s mother. “We were walking a fine line between fear and sadness and trying to maintain sanity and normalcy.”
Five-year-old Katya Todesco of Simi Valley was bitten in the neck and the face by a neighbor’s pit bull mix in September 2008. She died three days later and her parents made the decision to donate her organs. The Todescos declined to be interviewed for this story, but more than a year after the tragedy they met the Martin family, who received their daughter’s heart.
The two families met again in Pasadena earlier this month to decorate a floragraph (floral portrait) of Katya for the Donate Life float that will be in the 122nd Tournament of Roses on New Year’s Day. The float, which is called “Seize the Day,” will feature 60 floragraphs of donors who have saved lives across the country. .
According to Donate Life, 86.3 million people in the U.S. were registered organ donors in 2009, with more than 7.6 million in California. Currently more than 21,000 Californians are waiting for an organ transplant, which is 21 percent of the more than 100,000 people waiting across the country. Katya was recently honored by Children’s Hospital Los Angeles for her organ donations.
Bryan Stewart, chairman of the Donate Life Rose Parade Float committee, said decorating a float in honor of a donor is a perfect way to unite families.
“This is a good catalyst for that kind of meeting, when the emotions behind it are very strong,” Stewart said. “If the families organize a meeting, there is a lot of pressure, this gives them something to celebrate.”
Martin said meeting the Todescos was exactly that, an opportunity to thank and celebrate Katya and her family.
“I remember thinking, ‘You can’t just go to Hallmark and buy a card that says what you want to say to the family who has just given you this gift,’” Martin said. When the two families first met last year, Martin said, Katya’s parents and extended family showed wonderful affection for her son, showering him with gifts and hugs.
“They made him feel so welcome and they made him feel really loved. I think we underestimated how important it was for them to meet Kyle,” Martin said.
Both the Todescos and the Martins agreed that if the two children had ever met, Katya and Kyle would have been good friends.
Meetings between donor and recipient families are rare, said Stewart, who is also the vice president of communications for OneLegacy, a local organ donor group.
“A lot of the time it is too emotional, since their loved one’s death is very sudden and traumatic,” explained Stewart.
Despite Kyle’s young age, his parents said their son is taking his diagnosis, transplant and all the emotions that come with it, with a surprising ease.
“He never complained, he never acted out, he was amazing,” said Joel Martin, 39, Kyle’s father. “He took it in stride like you never imagine a kid would do.”
“He has an understanding that life is not something to take for granted and he just has a humility that I’m in awe of,” added Lina Martin. “He was a trooper and he was really brave. He still is.”
Now, weeks before his eighth birthday, Kyle is doing well. The boy with wavy blond hair and a warm smile enjoys drawing and exploring new things, fitting for someone who wants to be a paleontologist when he grows up. Recently at a community center near his Orange County home, he was playing leapfrog on spheres that almost equaled his height. He’s a tad shy, but Kyle’s bright eyes show a hint of silliness and curiosity.
While the Martins, who have three other children, had a rough year dealing with the stress of their son’s diagnosis and the wait for his new heart, Lina Martin sees the bright side of their most difficult months.
“In hindsight I think of the stroke as a blessing in disguise because if he hadn’t had the stroke, we may not have known about the heart disease until it was too late,” she said.
The couple has learned a valuable life lesson.
“We try not to take things for granted,” Joel Martin said. “Life can be really short.”
The Martins have had their share of challenges. Their youngest daughter, Kristina, 5, was born deaf and now wears cochlear implants. Kristina is the same age that Katya was when she died and when Kyle was diagnosed with restrictive cardiomyopathy.
“We thought that (Kristina’s deafness) was a big deal at the time, but we found out later that it wasn’t that big a deal,” Joel Martin said.
“She was our teaching ground for learning that life throws you curve balls,” Lina Martin added.
The Martins say their lives have changed because of the Todescos.
“I feel that my life has been enriched by meeting the Todesco family,” Lina Martin said. “I hope we’ll have a bond with them for life.”
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