THE RECORD
Mike Graham, a former commercial pilot and a plumber from Franklin Lakes, had never heard of Alan Segal before reading an ad in a local paper outlining Segal’s need for a kidney donation.
Graham, now 67, had given blood for several decades, and had been thinking about organ donation for several years since a former customer of his died for lack of a kidney donor.
When Graham called Segal, 60 and also from Franklin Lakes, to say he wanted to donate, Segal was incredulous. “Who is this?” he responded into the phone. That was December of 2009.
The two formed a rare bond, successfully navigated a battery of pre-surgery tests, endured the transplant and are now healthy and spreading the word about the need for organ donation.
Giving a kidney
* Living donors were involved in 6,387 of the 16,829 kidney transplants performed in the United States in 2009. Anonymous donation accounted for just 149 transplants.
* Donors should be in good health with normal kidney function. Donors will undergo tests to ensure compatibility and a psychological evaluation. The decision to donate should be made free from financial or family pressure.
* The long term risks of donation include nerve damage, hernia and intestinal obstruction. People with one kidney may be at greater risk for high blood pressure, proteinuria and reduced kidney function. Donors can generally expect to live normal lives after the surgery.
* Typically, the recipient’s health insurer or Medicare pays for the donor’s medical bills related to the donation.
* Christina-Taylor Green, the 9-year-old girl killed a week ago in the Tucson shootings, donated some of her organs, which were used to help save a child's life in Boston.
* For more, check out kidney.org.
Sources: National Kidney Foundation, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
* Donors should be in good health with normal kidney function. Donors will undergo tests to ensure compatibility and a psychological evaluation. The decision to donate should be made free from financial or family pressure.
* The long term risks of donation include nerve damage, hernia and intestinal obstruction. People with one kidney may be at greater risk for high blood pressure, proteinuria and reduced kidney function. Donors can generally expect to live normal lives after the surgery.
* Typically, the recipient’s health insurer or Medicare pays for the donor’s medical bills related to the donation.
* Christina-Taylor Green, the 9-year-old girl killed a week ago in the Tucson shootings, donated some of her organs, which were used to help save a child's life in Boston.
* For more, check out kidney.org.
Sources: National Kidney Foundation, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
“As we were going through the tests, getting closer to the operation, I kept praying every night, ‘Please let me be a good match. Don’t let me let Alan down,’Ÿ” Graham said.
The two men spoke before a special breakfast meeting of Barnert Temple’s Men’s Club and Sisterhood organizations. “We really want to get this message out,” Graham said. “There are 87,000 people in this country waiting for a kidney transplant.”
“This is an opportunity for people to learn about Judaism’s support for organ donation, and what we can give from our bodies that enables life,” said Barnert Temple Rabbi Elyse Frishman.
She said Barnert’s congregation has put a particular focus on this issue, and will be holding a bone marrow registration drive at the temple Jan. 30.
Those who attended the event received a free copy of “Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice” by Rabbi Mark Washofsky, a professor of Jewish law at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati.
One chapter in the book covers Jewish law and medical ethics, including a section on organ donation and transplant.
“In the sea of life, we are all lifeboats for one another,” Frishman told the crowd. “We never know when we may need to throw someone else a lifeline.”
The room Sunday was filled with organ donor stories and connections. Sara Losch, Barnert’s director of lifelong learning, said her own father needed a liver transplant but could not find a doctor who would agree to the procedure because he was 78 at the time. Segal and his wife, Joy, connected Losch to a doctor who agreed to the procedure. Losch’s father is now a healthy 82.
It was Losch, in turn, who had placed the ad in the The Villadom Times about Segal’s need for a kidney that first drew Graham’s attention.
Losch told the group that even if someone signs a donor card or checks the donor box on their driver’s license, they should still discuss their intentions with family members, because family may not otherwise agree to organ donation when asked by doctors after the potential donor’s death.
The crowd Sunday also included Derek Smith of Franklin Lakes and his stepfather, Larry Rutenberg, a Philadelphia resident who lost both kidneys to cancer in 2009 and who now lives on dialysis. Smith had written a plea for a donor and had approached Losch to see if she could send it as a general e-mail to congregants. That’s when Losch told Smith about Sunday’s event.
Rutenberg has Type O blood, and would need a kidney from a Type-O donor. But Type-O donors are “universal donors” – their kidney could be used in a patient with any blood type, so Rutenberg would move up the recipient list very slowly.
Graham never told his wife, Eileen about his decision to donate a kidney until just a few days before the actual transplant surgery. “I wanted to make sure I was going to go through with it,” he explained. He said that she has relied on deceased organ donors when she had several cornea transplant surgeries, so she backed his decision. “She understands. She can see today because somebody had checked the organ donor box on their driver’s license,” Graham said.
Graham said that when he saw Segal before the operation, he looked gray, ashen, “like he was dying.” When Graham wandered down to see Segal 12 hours after the operation, he said that Segal “looked as pink as a baby’s butt, and he was literally glowing. It blew me out of the water.”
Segal smiled. “I haven’t felt this good in 20 years,” he said.
One day after the operation, when the two new friends were visiting, Segal told Graham, “I have a terrible need to do something for you. Tell me what to do?” And Graham responded, “Look on your left shoulder. That’s me, your angel, watching you. All I ask is that you live with my kidney as long as you can.”
As they spoke to the crowd, the two men fed off each other’s lines and anecdotes as if they had known each other for decades.
Graham recalled that a few months ago Segal called him for some more help. The Segals’ water heater had broken, and water was all over their basement floor.
Graham came by with a new water heater and installed it. Then he said, “Alan, I gave you a new kidney, but you’re going to have to pay for the water heater.” The crowd erupted in laughter.
“We’ve truly bonded,” Segal said, “and we love each other.”
The two men spoke before a special breakfast meeting of Barnert Temple’s Men’s Club and Sisterhood organizations. “We really want to get this message out,” Graham said. “There are 87,000 people in this country waiting for a kidney transplant.”
“This is an opportunity for people to learn about Judaism’s support for organ donation, and what we can give from our bodies that enables life,” said Barnert Temple Rabbi Elyse Frishman.
She said Barnert’s congregation has put a particular focus on this issue, and will be holding a bone marrow registration drive at the temple Jan. 30.
Those who attended the event received a free copy of “Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice” by Rabbi Mark Washofsky, a professor of Jewish law at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati.
One chapter in the book covers Jewish law and medical ethics, including a section on organ donation and transplant.
“In the sea of life, we are all lifeboats for one another,” Frishman told the crowd. “We never know when we may need to throw someone else a lifeline.”
The room Sunday was filled with organ donor stories and connections. Sara Losch, Barnert’s director of lifelong learning, said her own father needed a liver transplant but could not find a doctor who would agree to the procedure because he was 78 at the time. Segal and his wife, Joy, connected Losch to a doctor who agreed to the procedure. Losch’s father is now a healthy 82.
It was Losch, in turn, who had placed the ad in the The Villadom Times about Segal’s need for a kidney that first drew Graham’s attention.
Losch told the group that even if someone signs a donor card or checks the donor box on their driver’s license, they should still discuss their intentions with family members, because family may not otherwise agree to organ donation when asked by doctors after the potential donor’s death.
The crowd Sunday also included Derek Smith of Franklin Lakes and his stepfather, Larry Rutenberg, a Philadelphia resident who lost both kidneys to cancer in 2009 and who now lives on dialysis. Smith had written a plea for a donor and had approached Losch to see if she could send it as a general e-mail to congregants. That’s when Losch told Smith about Sunday’s event.
Rutenberg has Type O blood, and would need a kidney from a Type-O donor. But Type-O donors are “universal donors” – their kidney could be used in a patient with any blood type, so Rutenberg would move up the recipient list very slowly.
Graham never told his wife, Eileen about his decision to donate a kidney until just a few days before the actual transplant surgery. “I wanted to make sure I was going to go through with it,” he explained. He said that she has relied on deceased organ donors when she had several cornea transplant surgeries, so she backed his decision. “She understands. She can see today because somebody had checked the organ donor box on their driver’s license,” Graham said.
Graham said that when he saw Segal before the operation, he looked gray, ashen, “like he was dying.” When Graham wandered down to see Segal 12 hours after the operation, he said that Segal “looked as pink as a baby’s butt, and he was literally glowing. It blew me out of the water.”
Segal smiled. “I haven’t felt this good in 20 years,” he said.
One day after the operation, when the two new friends were visiting, Segal told Graham, “I have a terrible need to do something for you. Tell me what to do?” And Graham responded, “Look on your left shoulder. That’s me, your angel, watching you. All I ask is that you live with my kidney as long as you can.”
As they spoke to the crowd, the two men fed off each other’s lines and anecdotes as if they had known each other for decades.
Graham recalled that a few months ago Segal called him for some more help. The Segals’ water heater had broken, and water was all over their basement floor.
Graham came by with a new water heater and installed it. Then he said, “Alan, I gave you a new kidney, but you’re going to have to pay for the water heater.” The crowd erupted in laughter.
“We’ve truly bonded,” Segal said, “and we love each other.”
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