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Three-and-a-half years later they were still lunch buddies. At Kevin’s wake last month, that boy introduced himself to Kevin’s mother, Karen, calling her son his best friend. That’s when she first learned the story of the seed of kindness planted by Kevin, one of many ways he touched people across a wide spectrum.
Kevin died after a March 12 single-car accident on Route 523 in his hometown of Readington Township. But his good heart is still beating. His liver, kidneys and corneas are successfully functioning. His tissue, corneas and long bones will change lives.
The Gilbert family has “given the gift of life to those recipients and their families,” said Elisse Glennon, executive director of the New Jersey Sharing Network Foundation, which supports and promotes organ donations and transplants, support families and offers education programs in 14 counties. “Kevin’s legacy is going to live on for many more years.”
Kevin’s friends and family are continuing their support by forming Team Kevin Gilbert, captained by his cousin Jamie Siegrist, for a June 12 Share NJ 5K Walk/Run in New Providence. Karen said that the Jamie one day sought a sign to help her get through this difficult time and came home to find to find a brochure about the run, addressed to a previous tenant. “She and my brother were runners,” said Karen. “It was perfect.”
Anyone can join the team — 66 have so far — or contribute. Today the team was in the lead on donations, with 118 donors totaling $4,115. The team page says they are taking part “in memory of Kevin and others who gave, on behalf of those who received, and with hope for those who continue to wait.”
Karen does not expect Kevin’s classmates to make it to the race; it takes place two days after Central’s senior ball. Kevin had made plans to attend the ball with his girlfriend, then to join friends at a Shore house for the weekend. “That is their time. Kevin’s big thing was to celebrate. He said this will be the best senior year ever.”
The evening before the accident, Karen said Kevin was home with his girlfriend, practicing “the walk” for a fundraising fashion show in which they had volunteered to model. “He was always squeezing so much into the day,” said his mom. “That was Kevin. He was very lucky to have such passion at a young age.”
Rushing to practice the next morning is believed to have contributed to the fatal accident, which had no witnesses. The accident investigation hasn’t finished, however, County Prosecutor Anthony Kearns said yesterday that there hasn’t been any evidence that Kevin was texting or talking on a phone.
Karen said she has since heard that a large herd of deer was near the road at about the time of the accident, but adds, “It was speed and inexperience. He got out of the moment. It could have been a yawn or a sneeze.”
Nationwide, 18 people die a day while awaiting an organ transplant, said Glennon. In New Jersey alone, 4,700 people are awaiting a life-saving transplant. It’s a balancing act. Those on the list must be very sick, but not so sick that they couldn’t survive an operation.
Last year in New Jersey organs were recovered from 75% of eligible donors, or 155 people, resulting in 537 transplants. One to eight organs may be recovered from each donor.
“We’ll never bridge the gap completely,” said Glennon.
That’s because just 1% of all deaths are eligible for organ donations. Of 2.5 million deaths in the U.S. last year, just 8,000 became organ donors. Except for rare cases of cardiac death — where kidneys and maybe the pancreas may be recovered — the donor must die of brain death, in a hospital, while on a ventilator, Glennon said. “Your heart needs to pump blood to the organs to keep them healthy.”
Some myths linger. Perhaps the most common is a belief that medical teams will withhold some measure of care from potential donors. “The number one goal is to save you, not have people die to save others,” said Glennon. “We are never called to the scene of an accident. We are only called when certain triggers are met, notably a determination of brain death. Doctors who have fought to save an accident victim’s life do not become part of the transplant team.
Further, Glennon said, the family is approached only when members have “accepted that their loved one has passed of brain death.”
In New Jersey, anyone who applies for or renews a driver’s license may consent to organ donation. Do so and “organ donor” is printed at the bottom on the front of the license. A family may also offer consent. Thirty percent of our state’s adults are registered donors.
Once this happens, there’s a flurry of activity by the coordinating agency, including matching for compatibility then determining which possible recipients in the greatest need and can receive the new organ within a four- to six-hour window, longer for kidneys or corneas.
Karen Gilbert said that consenting to the donation “is a very emotional thing. But at some point you do know. My husband and I definitely agreed on this. Why would you want his (Kevin’s) life to be done and not help?”
As parents, Karen said the couple liked engaging Kevin and older brother Stephen in conversations that encouraged them to formulate and express their views. Organ donation was one that had come up. “I know that’s what Kevin would have wanted,” said his mom. “Parents should not be afraid to do this.”
Donor families and recipients are given the option of learning about or meeting each other. The Gilberts know that Kevin’s organs went to middle-aged adults, four with families. Karen knows they made the right choice and doesn’t mind that the recipients weren’t younger, and added, “If my friends needed them, would I not have wanted them to have them?
“We knew Kevin was a good kid, not that he didn’t have his mischievous side,” Karen said. “But he’s amazing us more and more every day with the stories we’re hearing. He just seemed to see people’s pain” and would reach out to ease it in ways big and small.
“He was never doing it for recognition. Our older son’s the same way. That’s just who they are.”
To take part in the 5K Walk/Run or to donate, visit the Gilbert team donation page at sharenj.donorpages.com/5KWalkRun2011/TeamKevinGilbert/.
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