Hospital nuptials brings bliss to Nanaimo family

by Alyssa Noel | The Province

Deborah Graves sat in a wheelchair with her eyes closed and her face turned up to the sun.

In front of her, her daughter, Michal, in a flowing white gown, clasped hands with her husband-to-be, Cameron Ruley.

Just a few weeks earlier, the couple worried Graves would not live to see their wedding. After contracting a parasite while traveling back in the 1990s, her liver began to fail. She had been on a wait list for a transplant since April, growing sicker as the days passed.

Then, two days after she and Michal picked out a wedding dress, Graves got the call that doctors had found her a liver. The operation at Vancouver General Hospital was slated for July, around the same time the couple planned to wed in the Graves’ backyard in Nanaimo.

“I said, ‘Just get married.’ But they wanted me to be there as well,” Graves said from her hospital bed before the wedding Saturday afternoon.

Bright red lipstick made her smile look even wider. Her stylish purple dress and pretty shawl draped to cover her bandaged arm looked out of place in the sterile room.

Hospital staff say it was Graves’ family’s idea. The family says it was hospital staff’s idea. But early last week someone suggested they hold the wedding on an outdoor terrace that had been locked up for years on the fourth floor, where Graves continues her arduous recovery.

After seriously discussing holding the wedding in the tiny hospital room, Michal and Cameron were ecstatic at the prospect of an outdoor ceremony that Graves could attend.

“Words can’t describe how grateful I am that she’s here. That someone saved her life,” Michal said, choking back tears in the transplant ward, the train of her gown sweeping across the floor.

Graves, a pastor originally from South Africa who has lived in Nanaimo with her family for more than a decade, was one of 11 people to receive a liver transplant at VGH in July, a record in the province. Though she is still extremely weak and faces a long road to recovery, doctors are optimistic.

On average, there is an 80 to 90 per cent survival rate for liver transplant patients. Around 70 per cent of recipients are able to return to a normal life, said Dr. Charles Scudamore, a surgeon and director of the B.C. liver transplant program.

“We strive to get people rehabilitated, not just survive, but rehabilitated so they can enjoy life and return to their previous activities,” he said. “It’s very important people who wish to donate their organs . . . make their wishes known.”

Because doctors are able to save the lives of more potential donors, there are fewer organs to go around, even though the need hasn’t decreased. About one third of those waiting for a liver will die before they can get one. Michal is “so unbelievably grateful” her mother wasn’t one them, she said.

“I would never imagine my wedding would be here. I thought it would be a backyard wedding,” she added. “You can’t be disappointed when you have your mom there, your friends, your family.”

Later, Michal’s older brother wheeled Graves up a winding ramp to the terrace, which hospital staff helped transform into a beautiful outdoor space. The planters had been weeded, flowers were in bloom and a lacy material draped across a series of arches.

When the crowd of about 60 spotted Graves approaching, they burst into applause.

“If I hadn’t got the transplant I wouldn’t be here,” Graves said. “If you are a strong, healthy person, or if you’re not, get strong and healthy and be an organ donor. It’s the gift of life.”